24 painful things you must do to grow up

1. Telling your parents that you are just not going to agree with them about certain things (especially regarding your lifestyle choices), and that you are ready to deal with the consequences that might bring in your relationship.

2. Removing friends from your life that you grew up with who are simply no longer good for you, even if you have known them so long as to consider them just a part of your life — something you assume will always be there.

3. Telling these friends, should they ask, exactly why you don’t really hang out with each other anymore. Explaining to them what your issues actually are without trying to come off as though you have left them behind in some way (even if you feel like you have).

4. Deleting phone numbers of people you are very interested in dating but who are just never going to be interested in you in the same way.

5. Explaining to someone who is looking to date you seriously that you are just not in a phase of your life where you can offer that to them, and that your own development is more important than being in a relationship right now.

6. Moving somewhere where there is more opportunity for your professionally, but where you are an absolute stranger and have no comfort zone.

7. Understanding that you are going to sometimes find yourself in an apartment after a night spent with someone where you are not really welcome, and that extricating yourself around breakfast time is never going to be fun or not-awkward.

8. Accepting that you cannot party in the way you used to, and that you are going to have to start turning down some nights which people will tease you about because your sleep has become your most precious commodity.

9. Realizing that some friends are going to end up with people that you know, in your heart, are not a right decision for them — and that this is just a mistake they are going to have to make on their own.

10. Seeing friends getting divorced or having an extremely hard separation that you wish you could have warned them against.

11. Understanding that sometimes, when people tell you that they are too busy to see you, they really mean it. Their lives are simply changing in a way that may mean you will not be able to be as close or see each other as frequently as was once the case.

12. Watching friends you love move away, and knowing that they will likely never come back.

13. Having to be the one who moves away yourself.

14. Realizing that some people are making the transition from “crazy kid who parties a little too much” to “person who has a serious problem with drinking/drug use,” and that there may be nothing you can do to help them.

15. Seeing that, for some people, money and how you relate to it is going to make a huge difference in social groups and who is friends with whom. While you can make the effort to not care about money in the lives of your own group, some people are just going to become hung up on what it means socially.

16. Accepting that you may not have the job or the apartment or the lifestyle that you imagined you would have at your age.

17. Realizing that you are what you once considered “a grown-up age,” and that you do not feel “grown-up” in the least.

18. Living with debt.

19. Understanding that people who worked very hard all their lives, who made what they thought were the right choices and always gave their all professionally and academically, are not guaranteed successful careers.

20. Realizing that your parents’ generation may not understand that these kinds of problems are largely out of our hands.

21. Accepting that, sometimes, your parents really were right about things.

22. Leaving the sense of competition you have with your siblings and appreciating that you can all succeed on different terms and still be completely independent people.

23. Falling for someone who is never going to be a good decision for you, but who you cannot help yourself in loving.

24. Looking back on decisions you’ve made over the years and feeling like there were clear forks in the road where you took the wrong direction, but which you can never really loop back around to find again. Living with the person you have decided to become, even if that means having to start from square one at 25 years old. Even if that means you are going to be a little bit behind for a long time. Even if none of us really know what it means to be “behind.”

Give up

Most people try to convince you not to give up, maybe YOU SHOULD, especially if it makes you a better person.

1. Give up trying to be perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
2. Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.
3. Give up trying to avoid mistakes. – The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
4. Give up saying, “I can’t.” – As Henry Ford put it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”
5. Give up thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
6. Give up setting small goals for yourself. – Many people set small goals because they’re afraid to fail.  Ironically, setting these small goals is what makes them fail.
7. Give up buying things you don’t need. – Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.
8. Give up blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
9. Give up trying to live up to the expectations of others. – Work on it for real and exceed your own expectations.  Everything else will fall into place.
10. Give up making promises you can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise.  Over-deliver on everything you do.
11. Give up letting your thoughts and feelings bottle up inside. – People are not mind readers.  They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.
12. Give up waiting until the last minute. – Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
13. Give up being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.
14. Give up doing the same thing over and over again. – In order to grow, you must expand your horizons and break free of your comfort zone.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting
15. Give up filling every waking moment with commitments and activities. – It’s okay to be alone.  It’s okay to do nothing sometimes.  Think.  Relax. Breathe.  Be.
16. Give up taking yourself so seriously. – Few others do anyway.  So enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.
17. Give up spending your life working in a career field you’re not passionate about. – Life is too short for such nonsense.  The right career choice is based on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing.  So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop.  You’re on to something big.  Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
18. Give up trying to be different for the sake of being different. – Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity.  When people try too hard to be different, they usually end up being just like everyone else who is trying to be different.  Once again, be yourself.
19. Give up trying to avoid risk. – There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’  Everything you do or don’t do has an inherent risk.
20. Give up putting your own needs on the back burner. – Yes, help others, but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

“And remember, mistakes make us human, failures help us grow, hope keeps us going and love is the reason we’re alive.  So keep learning, loving and living.  Never give up on yourself. And my golden rule, Don’t allow yourself to be mute. Say what you feel, feel what you say.

I should put in mind that

everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame.You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make. Period .